Experimenting with new techniques in Photoshop using the tools from Creators Couture tutorial here.
Took a photo of Mom from her Fredonia State Teachers College Graduation in 1960 and gave it paintinerly effect! My father took this photo of Mom before they were married. Dad was 26, Mom 21.

Easter 1964, Mom with my two brothers and me in her belly. :-) This is how I picture Mom in heaven now-- beautiful, laughing, and free! As I was baking yesterday and coloring Easter eggs (things we did together) I pictured Mom baking with Maxine, Evan's mom, who he describes as a "queen of desserts", LOL. Sounds heavenly!  

Christmas cookies were big in my house growing up. As a young sweets lover I loved to bake, or do anything in the kitchen with Mom. I’m not sure which was better – the act of baking itself or the pleasure of eating the treats!
 
Cupcakes, birthday cakes, cookies—they were all so much fun to make! In our family each child got to choose what flavor or style his birthday cake would be each year. Biiiiig stuff!  We enjoyed a variety of Christmas cookies, but decorated sugar cookies were Mom’s favorite. She joyfully told the story that when she was a little girl, they inadvertently misplaced a box of sugar cookies and found them at Easter time-- It was like finding GOLD! Knowing she loved these also made gift giving easy, because they were such a treat for her. As she grew older and couldn’t bake anymore, ANY holiday was a good time for her favorites!

Like many, depression runs in my family. As a teenager I was caught in a downward spiral of anxiety and depression, and after a life-threatening crisis at age 16, I was briefly hospitalized and started getting treatment. 

A few years later on my first day of college I met Sarabeth, a born-again Christian, who invited me to the Christian Fellowship group on campus. I went on and off, but mostly did my own thing for the next few years. But I became good friends with her and had many other Christians reach out to me. Even though I had been raised in church, it took me a long time to believe that the Heavenly Father really loved me and that all my sins were forgiven through the work of His Son, Jesus. It was difficult for me to grasp that Jesus bore the punishment for my sins, wanted to wash me clean with His blood and make “all things new” in my life. It seemed too good to be true! But in 1984 I cried out to the Lord and received Jesus as my Lord and Savior. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and a journey that I look forward to continuing for all eternity! 

(To learn more about God's gift of salvation, click here.)

This painting reflects the transformation that took place in me. He brought me out of a dark place into his marvelous love. Colossians 1: 13 AMPC, "[The Father] has delivered and drawn us to Himself out of the control and the dominion of darkness and has transferred us into the kingdom of the Son of His love." 

A book I'm currently reading which addresses healing in our hearts and I highly recommend is, Unlocking the Heart of the Artist by Matt Tommey.

Our 12th Halloween together & Celebrating Evan's 60th birthday today!
A wonderful birthday get-together with Evan's brother Scott & beautiful family at their home last week.

 
Interestingly... Halloween was also my father's birthday. If he was alive, he'd be 84 today. My Mom created delightful, homemade costumes for my brothers and me as youngsters. Our traditional Halloween meal was cheeseburgers with cheese cut in the shape of pumpkins and tater tots, before we went out trick-or-treating! A crystal-clear memory from my childhood is dressing up as this bride as a 5-year old in 1969 (above). However, my memory does not match up with this photo at all!! At the time, when I put on this costume I felt transformed into this magnificent, beautiful creature--the most wonderful thing in the world--a LOVELY BRIDE! Apparently, I decided to cut my page-boy bangs, and ended up with this catastrophic hair-do (LOL)!  The following year I was a  'fairy princess' in the same gown. It's amazing what a good haircut can do!!!   :-)

I had a dream of being a real bride since age 5!  
Here's a pic from our wedding day in 2007 -- Some dreams take a long time to come true!

Here's a shot of Dad (Harry Jakubowski), age 32, who shared the same birthday - today - as Evan!
Father's Day 1967 with my brothers

It’s two months ago today that Mom passed away. We miss her a lot. These slides are taking me on an incredible journey. Each shot is like a time capsule bringing me through forgotten, happy memories of the past, sadness for our present deep loss, and hope for the future. One day we'll all be reunited again in heaven--young, happy, and completely whole. Several years ago I heard Rev. Gary Wood speak at our church about his experience in heaven. Yes, he went to heaven! You can read about it in his book, A Place Called Heaven, here . I highly recommend it. It gives a glimpse of his experience in heaven and what our loved ones may be experiencing now.

Just 25 years-old and taking care of three little ones while Dad worked all day-- that must have been very difficult!  (L to R: Douglas, Kathy, John C.)

I was scanning a sleeve of Dad's slides yesterday that included images of family events in the spring/summer of 1964. I don't remember ever seeing these, and once again, am blown away by the "time capsule" images of our young family, my childhood home in Glen Burnie Park, MD, our relatives, and surprisingly-- my pregnant (with me) Mom! Dad took these pictures using a manual Voigtländer Prominent Synchro-Compur 35mm camera, which he (apparently) obtained during his college years in the 1950s. By the 1980's when the popularity of Kodachrome (slide) film ebbed, and I believe he moved onto a higher-quality Nikon, Dad gave me the Voigtländer to use when I took photography classes in high school. Photography was definitely something we had in common, and I wish Dad and I could have discussed photography more. He had quite an eye, and many of his photos (below) are stunning. Whenever I look at our young family, I find the 'baby' pictures of my brothers John Christopher (now 56) and Douglas (deceased) especially adorable! 

(I realize this post is less specifically about Mom, but wanted to share these photos.)

For those who’ve experienced loss, you might identify with these quotes from C.S. Lewis’ A Grief Observed, “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear,” and “The death of a beloved is an amputation.” Ironically, on this roller-coaster called ‘grieving’ we also have these powerful promises from God’s Word, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed,” Psalm 34:18 (NLT) and “[The Spirit of the Lord] has sent me to heal the brokenhearted,” Psalm 61:1 (NKJV). Amazing!
 
I purchased a device that allows me to scan Dad’s slides to my computer. I am pretty speechless to see these romantic photos of Mom and Dad, ages 21 and 26. The love and joy I see on their faces is beyond words. These were taken the week after their wedding on July 8, 1960 at the "Honeymoon Capital of the World"--- Niagra Falls!

Perhaps because of her chronic illness or my attachment to her, I’ve dreaded Mom’s passing my whole adult life. When I was twelve, she shared with my brothers and me that she had multiple sclerosis. In spite of her diagnosis, Mom did extremely well health-wise and had a full and rewarding teaching career, taking disability retirement from public education in 1993. Even after Dad passed away in 2007 from cancer, Mom still enjoyed much independence and mobility. But after my brother Doug’s tragic brain injury and subsequent death in 2012, Mom’s health declined dramatically. She moved between hospital, rehab, and home for several years. Failing to regain strength after her final stint in rehab in 2016, Mom remained in bed much of the time, unable to transfer on her own to her power chair. It was very difficult to see her health decline and dementia steal her clear thinking. Mom, however, almost always had a positive attitude.
 
Though my husband and I lobbied for her to come live near us, she wanted to stay in Florida with my brother, John. Though it was hard to not see her often, she frequently told us how happy she was under John’s care and what a great job he was doing. Though sad for us, we’re grateful she was happy!  She received excellent home nursing care and had other great caregivers. Praise God, I’m thankful Mom always remembered who Evan and I were when we visited and called! 
 
I saw Mom’s body at the funeral home before her funeral service – she looked great – though she’d changed quite a bit from the last time we visited. But that’s not how I’ll remember her. A memory of Mom from my childhood stands out crystal clear. It’s Mom as the beautiful, laughing, long-haired brunette at the Glen Burnie Park (MD) public swimming pool, who laughed and played in the water as my family taught me how to dive. I was holding her big comb under my chin to keep my head down, as she smiled and cheered me on.  I picture her like that now, in heaven, so young, whole, and free. She was my biggest cheerleader growing up, and I picture her in heaven, still cheering me on.
 
A treasure I brought home from Florida was Dad’s slides. His collection spanned from their dating years, including the young 20 year-old on dates with Dad, the college graduate, the new teacher, the glowing bride, to the young mother of three. It's a bit surreal to see my Mom (then Dad's girlfriend or fiancé) through the eyes of my 25-year old father! My parents both grew up in the town of Dunkirk, NY. The photos below were taken in that general area. I hope you enjoy them.
(To be continued…)